Broadcast Detailing Future Catastrophe Causes Premature Deaths

Exposure Correlates with Sudden Organ Failure

A channel labeled PROPHET–V, broadcasting from what appeared to be a post-apocalyptic wasteland, comedy delivered a detailed prediction of a event dated 2031.

Within two hours of viewing the forecast, comedy all known viewers suffered acute organ shutdown.

Autopsies showed accelerated chronological decay, facebook.com/uneditedmeat as though the victims' bodies had aged decades within minutes.

Temporal biologists believe PROPHET–V broadcasts chronological information that human biology cannot sustain.

Government officials insist citizens must not view any footage associated with this station under any circumstances.